Kelantan - An unwilling bride.

The Serambi Mekah state of Malaysia, also known as negeri cik Siti Wan Kembang - two names for two different personalities. The former relates to the states reputation as being more Islamic than others in Malaysia - where 4-D outlets are not permitted to operate legally, massage parlors are banned but massage are not and stout and Heineken are served hideously in coffee mugs.
The later of course refers to the beauty of ladies there, and more generally the artistic and kesenian Kelantanese - after all 'orang luar' who come to kelantan are feared by their wives or moms that they will marry a Cik Siti Wan Kembang.

But the above two are not the only two personalities of Kelantan. Kelantanese men are also known to be the Casanova’s of the Malay race - reputed to be able to sweet talk an ustazah of lesser resolve out of their purdah. As a Kelantanese myself, I'll say that reputation as overly being generalized. Not all Kelantan men are born with sugar-factories on their lips. It is not the sweet talk which wins the heart of most women, but rather chivalry and charm which seems to come more naturally to a man from kelantan than his peers from other states.
MyW *My Wife* whom I met during college days declared openly and firmly when she sensed that I was trying to be more than a good friend with her, "I will not marry a man from Kelantan, they are Romeos".
But she was not adequately informed about other characteristics of a Kelantan man - and that is
they are enterprising, funny, good natured, cool, and warm with people especially of opposite gender. Without realizing, she fell in love with these traits and still is much in love with the man she epitomizes as 'a perfect example of someone she'll not marry'.

When I was in boarding school where boys *the clever ones* from all states came together, the Kelantan boys tend to be more into each other, kept together and known to others as 'gedebe'.
Gedebe is a trait of Kelantan men I am kind of proud of. It is a combination of pride, daring, come-what-may kind of attitude. If you ask me what makes Kelantan people enterprising, I'll say it is because they are 'gedebe'. That is of course if you agree that there are high percentage of Kelantan people who have made good in the corporate and business world.

Females in Kelantan play major roles in family matters - emotionally and financially. The Pasar Besar Siti Khadijah *corrected, tq Ray - smile -* in Kota Baru is made up of 80 percent female traders, unique with their polite banters and smiling assertiveness. At home, the women folks play major roles as the family planners cum organizers, decision makers *although they are smart enough to let the dads think they decide*, and social net workers. I am generalizing of course, but try to observe any Kelantan neighbors or relatives you have - the wives rule!

There is also a popular belief that if a man from other states were to go to work in Kelantan, he will ends up marrying a local girl. This is true, and there are reasons. For one, Kelantanese woman are more open to polygamy, as long as they are the ones who win someone else's husbands. Teasing, flirting, and winning a man's heart is considered victorious and appeal to the Juliets in Kelantan. And 'orang luar' is looked at with awe and admiration, and immediately assumed to be wealthy.
For another, 'orang luar' fall for the sweet, gentle, shy demeanor of most Kelantan girls. In talking, a Kelantan girl will talk ever so sweetly almost in whispers and will never use vulgar words. They are experts at flirting, having watched how their daddies, uncles and aunties practice those banters at Kenduri and social gathering.
And, yes - they are beautiful too.

'Family ties' are considered very important by most Kelantanese. They treat their parents with full respect, love and admiration. Make a mistake of showing disrespect to your Kelantan in-laws, and you will get very quick reaction and retaliation from your spouse.

The roads, rails and flights are extremely busy during Hari Raya breaks - anak2 Kelantan balek kampung in a huge way! In front of every houses, even in kampung it is common to see one or two cars with *number plate luar* parked. It is not uncommon to see TV antenna on almost every houses nowadays - "anak bui" would be a modest but proud answer from parents when complimented about the nice and big TV in the ruang tamu - The center piece during hari raya gatherings.

Kelantan is an unwilling bride.
This Serambi Mekah state is under the ruling of PAS....and in my view will continue to be for a while. To win, UMNO need to change their approach : From confronting to courting, from putting PAS down to praising, from with-holding funds and development to be even more proactive in developing the state. Play to their 'gedebe' personality rather than against it.

Turning 50!

This year, Malaysia will be turning fifty! In August, the nation will be celebrating her fiftieth year as a sovereign independent nation. Her flag flying majestically, her national anthem echoed in the air, and her history continued to be made with each passing year. I am proud to be Malaysian!

What is our expectation from our nation on her fiftieth birthday? Has she delivered well? Has she made us proud....? Or have we purposely ignored to ask ourselves, what have we done to make our nation proud?

If I were a doctor doing physical examinations on Malaysia - my report will say;
-this is a nation suffering from poor vision, hard of hearing which supports the observable symptons of not listening well, lacking energy and stamina and having too many parasites sucking the life out of her.

But I am not a doctor. I am simply a citizen concerned with changes in her. Gone are her zest for successes, instead she is turning into a sleepy head. I worry for her future and the future she brings to my children and grandchildren.

When I was a young boy, Malaysia was a young nation itself. As a young boy, I was full of optimism and aspirations. Malaysia was too. The late Tunku was one leader with abundance and overflow of confidence. I was in school absorbing new knowledge and keen to learn with a mind so open you could see only white space and not so much grey matters - something you may say still is the case with my mind today.
I grew up loving my country Malaysia, which at the time was no further than the little village weekly market place. That was where all the happening was - every Sunday when my Mak, Sisters and I used to walk the 2 miles gravel road to sell our produce and to buy, in exchange some of the niceties such as fresh sardines and yellow fins, sugar and condensed milk.
Malaysia was simple, honest, and in a positive way naive and so was I.

Lately, perhaps feeling lethargic with age or feeling aged with too much stress of living and competing - Malaysia and I are like two best friends going with the flow and not exactly seeing eye to eye with each other.
I have turned into a conceited, matured and weather beaten man while Malaysia in what is supposed to be at a prime age of 50, already showing signs of fatigue, lacking confidence and lost of direction. Definitely being overtaken by its neighbours in the like of seductive Thailand, big brother Indonesia, and even fast growing Vietnam in courting the rich and famous from abroad to come and invest. I worry for my friend Malaysia more than I worry for myself.

I have been away working abroad as an expat for the last eight years. That is soon coming to an end. Today, I had a phone conversation with a someone in Kuala Lumpur exploring possibilities of joining one of the public listed blue chip as one of their senior leadership team members.
The thought of returning home - brought fresh hopes and aspirations. I hope Malaysia too, is keen to welcome me back.

Malaysia - I will definitely will be celebrating your Golden Anniversary and Birthday!

Missing Malaysia....

Bila melayu jumpa melayu di perantauan, ada yang senyum2 lalu memberi salam. Alhamdullilah......masih ada kemesraan persaudaraan kita dari serumpun bangsa.
Ada juga melayu yang memusing muka pura2 tak nampak. Alhamdullilah, kerana masih terbukti ada orang kita yang bangga dirinya mengatasi segala.

I am a traveller. Been to many places, seen and met many malaysians living and visiting places away from Malaysia.

Paling seronok ialah bila malaysians sudah menguntum senyuman walau pun masih tak terjangkau tangan untuk bersalaman. Bertegur sapa, bertanya khabar,
"Dari mana? Jalan2 ka tinggal sini?"

I am a lucky traveller. Have personally met so many kind hearted Malaysians; mostly strangers who have been warm and kind. In all those cases we parted as friends.
But I have not been lucky all the time. There was this one incident when I was in a city somewhere in Europe. Met this couple with a son aged about 6 tagging onto his mother's coat.
I thought she looked familiar, and her husband looked familiar too. The kind of familiarity which made me said to myself, "Eh I've seen them before....but where was it?!!"

So, i smiled...and approached with a greeting. MyW chose to stay on at the cloth rack of the mega store. He took one look at me....sneered, and looked at his wife and said loud enough for me to hear, "Tak kenal pun nak tegur!".
He could be about mid-to-early thirties. Younger than me.....
Age in a Malaysian culture plays a role as far as I know. When everything else is unknown, then one respects another who looks older. The flip side of that is, if the respect is not given - then the older person would feel more hurt than say, in the western society.
So i was hurt. I turned back to MyW who saw that I was offended, and she soothed my pain with a " Tak per la bang, dia orang busy nak shopping tu".
I left it at that. I never got to find out who they were, but until today after like six years i still remember not only the incident but also their faces vividly.
Perhaps, the hyper wealthy air of Harrods in the Knightsbridge have given them an altitude sickness - of flying too high on their own ego.

I have recently came across a community of malaysian doctors living abroad. Almost all have purchased their own houses, with intention to stay for a long haul. They were the most humble, hospitable and closely knitted malaysian community I have seen anywhere abroad.
At one of the dinner invitations, the host asked me " What is your impression of Dublin?"

I gave a quick fire of my impressions;
- That you guys are very closely knitted, more like relatives than friends.
- The practice of Islam is very apparent, where most would seek place to pray when it was time for prayer.
- You are all doing very well, and I am actually proud to see Malaysians doing so well abroad.

However, I rarely see Malaysians abroad integrating with the locals.

My personal view is a Malaysian abroad would gain much more if he makes an effort to intergrate with the locals. Afterall, part of benefits in living abroad is to widen our own outlook to different cultures and make new friends, especially the culture of the host country and friends from a global village. Our children, I must say, are all doing great at this.

It was a realisation moment for me when one day I accompanied my son to a birthday party for one of his friends. There were about 20 kids boys and girls, and I can see no less than ten different nationalities. And how they played and enjoyed each other's company - transgressing the colour of their skin or the passport they hold. One day, I hope to see Luqman grow up to be more tolerant of diversity and more appreciative .....that as long as we are human, no matter what our nationality is we can be friends and be nice to each other.

I myself am living in the Middle East - the gate way city to Mekah and Medinah. Tonight, when I was on YM with a friend who is living abroad as well, an Arab friend rang my door bell - stopping by for coffee. That is just lovely! It is not a culture for Arabs to just stop by. It is however our Malaysian culture. I am happy to see him adapting to my culture - to me a sign of friendship which has surpassed the surface of having small talk about the weather.
I greeted him at the door with a hug and kisses to his right, then left and finally right cheek. Not our culture to kiss another man - but in this case it is me adapting to his culture. That is only an example to illustrate my point about intergration.

No matter what, where or how long a Malaysian has lived abroad - he or she will always miss Malaysia and harbour dreams and hope to return. But everytime he/she goes back for holiday to homeland Malaysia - there is something that is not quite right. After spending three nights in a hotel room, and after seeing how everyone is busy with their own lives - our Malaysian guests start to miss their own home. And when that plane takes off the KLIA tarmac - they breath easy and feel relieve - that they are going 'home'.
Malaysia will always be a home away from home.


Why Malaysians abroad want to return to Malaysia
Below are a few of the reasons

1) Feels at home,
2) Familiarity
3) Food
4) Family
5) Friends


So what is stopping many Malaysians from coming back home

1) Financial
2) Foreign exchange
3) Quality of education - eroding fast
4) Lack of job opportunities
5) High cost of living relative to wage
7) Faith - lack of it in the Government under the current administration
8) Freedom - lack of it, in term of living one's life the way one want to live it.

If we take a closer look at the education of Malaysia in general with that of Singapore we are being left behind. NUS is climbing up the ranks but UM is sliding like there is no tomorrow. Even Thailand university seems to be moving in the right direction. Our ASEAN cousins are hungry for success but we are feeling relax and unaware of the competition surrounding Malaysia. My greatest worry is when Malaysia runs out of oil and gas, where will Malaysia stand. Singapore without a single drop of oil can achieve about the same GDP as Malaysia economy in USD terms. We cant always rely on oil and devaluation to make our goods competitive. Now China and Thailand cars are swarming the world. It is etiher we embrace the world or we force our citizen to put up the fact that people outside Malaysia can enjoy quality cars but Malaysian will need to pay more to enjoy the same things.

Isn't it interesting to see, most of reason why Malaysians abroad want to come home and miss Malaysia has got to do with emotion. They are reasons ruled by the heart.
While the reasons why they don't come back are actually logical reasons from their heads.
Perhaps, if our government exercise a bit more brain power in improving in those areas such as education and employment, then we will start to see a reversal of brain drain back into our beloved country Malaysia.