Pause to Reflect,"You have none honey!"

A mysterious, ambitious, dotting mom and loving wife and an ever so dedicated owner of a cafe of fascinating writings and a home to a wonderful family tagged me to disclose my habits which annoy my dearest wife LiL.
She teasingly allured me with the words she used to describe me as the ' romantic Mr idham'.

I have chosen not to ask LiL for what her views were. I knew her too well and could not risk listening to her honesty - I prefered to keep my sanity and my self-esteem this time. She may have decided to go on a roll, and I would have to write a long entry indeed. Or she may have decided to be polite and kind especially knowing very well that I was undergoing some delicate period - in which case, I would came across almost too perfect to be true. I am far from perfect. An example of a perfect gentleman can be found in the form of this uncle who serenades the ladies with his fancy cars and exotic fantasies. Wow this uncle is wooing most of the ladies to his harem. hehehehe.

Now back to the present, to the subject of my flaws - my habits which annoy my dearest wife. Of course there are many, and they have changed over the years of our two decades of marriage. In the early years, my constant nudging and tickling at bed time annoyed her. Now after two decades, my lack of such interest and my preference to caress a computer keyboard instead seems to have the same effect. "It is so annoying when you seemed to be stuck to the computer chair", she once told me! So I stopped spending too much time on the computer and re-focus to tickling her ribs instead. "Stop it darling - not tonight lah......!".
But that is my point, that habits can be modified to suit who, what, when and where. If only we communicate our expectations clearly, diplomatically and emphatically.

When I stopped smoking one and half year ago, I became a habitual snacker. I snack five minutes before meals and I snack in between courses during dinner. Munch...munch..munch....I just need to nibble something! It was annoying to everyone, including myself. I snacked on raw vegetables which LiL was preparing to cook and I snacked on nuts, crackers and sweets. Then I went to a course on 'living with vitality' and re-organize my eating, exercising and resting habits. Nowadays whenever I am in Jeddah, LiL would send home cooked lunch to my office or whenever I am lucky, I sneak home for a quickie lunch. Hehehehe - not an instant noodle lunch okey!

Everyone has habits which others find annoying or unpleasant. One secret to a wonderful, blissful marriage is to be able to accept and rejoice in his or her individuality. The fact that I stand up everytime she gets up from her chair in a restaurent is a habit she loves. By the same token, the fact that I am so forgetful with my things such as car keys, sun-glasses and always ask her for help to find is a habit which would annoy most but which endears me to her and her to me. It is given that we could not choose our parents or our children, and we love them all for better or for worse. Spouses? We chose who we wanted as our beloved 'till death do us part' life's partner - so, it only seems logically that we choose to accept and enjoy each other for better or for worse too.

It is in this spirit I would like to believe what really happened when the-dotting-mom-and-loving-wife's hubby replied to her enquiry about her annoying habits, and he replied (most adoringly), "you have none, honey..", he has accepted his beloved wife as she is. And guess what, we men are capable of doing that. Hehehehe, yes - better believe this one!

Mid way through writing this I decided against my intuition, and I asked LiL if she has been annoyed by any of my habits. She laughed, then she hugged me and then she returned a question, "Abang nak tea ka?".
So, I asked her, " Eh why pulak tanya I nak tea or not?"
She replied, with a smile even sweeter than before, " Ye la...tetiba tanya tu macam nak bodek jer tu.....".
I accepted the offer for tea.
She stood behind my chair, massaging my shoulder while I completed this entry, in between typing I sipped the tea she has just made. Love is accepting what you can't change - and she knew it is hard to change my interest towards blogging for now. She has also seen how I fizzled out of a hobby such as this .....so time will come!

"Life can be a bed of rosses - if we focus on enjoying the flowers and learn to accept thorns as part of the beauty." - original quote from Mr Idham.

In closing I want to thank D for the tag. I hope I met her expectation. I open an invitation for anyone keen on disclosing their annoying habits - your participation will be applauded by D, I and others. Hey, life is so short la.....why so serious one! * I was smiling as I was typing this entry, are you smiling while reading?*