They ain't heavy - they are my sons!

"Ayah, ayah dah tak kerja sana lagi ka? Bukan ayah dah over age ka nak cari kerja baru?"

Along was concerned that I may not get an interview due to my age.Afterall, most of job advertisements that he has seen in Malaysia stipulate an age limit of not more than 35.

I smiled at his concern, and LiL had a good laugh.

"So, kita nak balek Malaysia ka ayah? Sekolah macam mana?"

Amirul who is sitting for his O-Level next year seemingly concern. I can understand his concern - after all he has not done more than 6 months in a Malaysian school system. He will struggle with BM lessons and exams.

Haziq is cool, and his apparent concern for now is about leaving his friends. For the last two nights he has been spending time at different friends house - in group. One is from Korea, the other from Saudi and one from New Zealand.

So far he has managed to collect more than SAR500 selling toys belonging to Luqman and himself. He has been clearing the toys in preparation for the move.

Zeti from Dublin sent an sms, "Ayah ok ka?"
We had a phone chat. She said she was having flue, but I think she has just cried.
I assured her we will be ok. And that she has no reason to worry. I will be able to fund her studies to completion - and that is a commitment.

Fariz who is currently in Jeddah for his University semester break was helping LiL packing some of the old stuff/ clothes away; sorting into bins of 'to throw', 'to give away' and 'to bring'.
I overheard him asking his mom, "Mak ok ka?"
So nice of him. While most people was showing concern for me, he was showing his care for LiL's feeling. Thanks Fariz...that was nice.

Luqman is excited that we are moving - anywhere. He wants a change without really understanding why. For some reason he thinks we are moving to London. Perhaps he has overheard my discussion on preferred locations with LiL. But, what I really think is he wants to express his support for us in making decision if we need to move. He does not want me to worry about how he feels.

My close friends from the office here in Jeddah are helping to introduce me to a few local businessmen - local Sheikhs. I am exploring opportunitites, not easy but try I must. None materialize as yet. One reason is my inability to converse in Arabic. The other is my high expectation on remuneration - at this point in time I am not ready to compromise on my package.

The company has offered me a few options - one is to join the board of the Ghana business. I declined after discussing with LiL and the children. The education system there is not as advanced as what we have been used to and the security is in question.
Another options offered was to take up a posting in Rotterdam - the job is not of board position but the responsibility is huge; joining a team which manage 14 European countries and a business of Euro 1 bil. I declined, mainly due high income tax rate of the country and the perceived lower status ofthe position compared to what I am having now * at least until end June*.

Just this morning - an option to move to Singapore came up. I am in discussion about this option. Singapore afterall is close to home, and the family and I enjoyed the three odd years we were there the last time. There are downsides too - which is why I need to think it over.
The plus side is that I will have a job and that there will be continuity for my children's education.

The above options, are great booster to my self-esteem, in that I am not discarded like a useless piece of furniture. The company is great in that sense, and I am grateful. I was reminded that the reason why I need to move from my current position is that my time is up - I have been here for four years.
That is true. My contract was for three to four years.

In fact, in all of my career, I have not done any one job for more than four years. I progressed fast. I reached a Directorship position and joined the first board at age 36. That seemed a long time ago, but I was so very proud of my achievement then, being the youngest board member. Both LiL and I were successful in our career. She a senior manager with a local conglomorate and I a director with a Multinational company.

Then we moved to Singapore when I was promoted to a Regional job - looking after the Asia region with a total of 17 countries. LiL took voluntary separation at that time to enable her to follow me to Singapore. A sacrifice on her part. Thanks sayang!
We lived for three-and-half wonderful year in Singapore.

So, to have spent four years in this job in the Middle East has been as long as I have been on any job. Why do I feel sad and unprepared this time? The answer I think is because unlike previous moves, this time I did not initiate it. I love living in Saudi and love my job more than I ever felt in the past.

"Ayah, what if you can't get a job?"
Amirul asked while we were swimming this evening.

I did not answer him. But I smiled and challenged him to a race. He was winning, but he slowed down and let me win. He is a son who does not want to see his dad beaten! Not just yet....